Santana Lopez, suckas. I'm sixteen, a junior at McKinley. Yes, I'm who you think I am, and no, about half the things you hear about me aren't true. Well, okay maybe like a third but whatever. I'm a Cheerio. Head Cheerio until a couple weeks ago, actually. Don't worry. That position will be mine again in no time.
I'm also in the Glee Club, which I guess isn't as unfortunate as it sounds. I get to show up everyone in that club with my insane voice and gracing those weirdos with my presence probably counts as community service or something. Plus I look totally hot in all those costumes.
You can try to talk to me if you really want, but my bite is worse than my bark and I always bite.
I never said that, and I’d rather you didn’t look at me when I was naked but It looks like you do that anyway. I don’t need you to pass any message onto your Dad. Just back off, you’re not being funny.
It’s like one of those times when you’re driving and there’s a dead animal on the side of the road. You don’t want to look because of how disgusting it is but you just have to. I think I’m because hilarious, actually. And remember, you’re the one who started this.
Yeah, but if my parents or my siblings found out then I’d be letting down a lot of people all at once. And that would suck. I guess that makes sense, in a weird kinda way. You got yourself a deal.
That’s why they never find out. And you’re a teenager. They’re gonna expect you to do stupid things. Awesome. I’ll give you papers tomorrow at school. They’re due Friday so don’t screw up.
It is, but it’s just not… my way. I can’t do that, I’ve got little siblings that like look up to me and stuff. I guess… I could maybe do that. Or whatever. Still seems like a weird way to make a friend.
You don’t get drunk and party in front of your family. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. I have to be sure I can count on you before we can be friends. I’m only asking for a small favor so I can be sure.
I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with what’s underneath my clothes and on my body, but for the last time. I do not have one single stretch mark. My body is the same as it’s always been. Maybe my boobs grew a little - but hey, at least it was natural.
So you’re still lactating then? That’s got to be gross. Anyways, I share a locker room with you, and I’d rather not have to look at that anymore. Let me know once you get over this denial thing you’re going through and I’ll pass the message on to my dad.
I didn’t do it to intentionally upset you. I didn’t sleep with Puck just to make you angry, I did it because I wanted to. I didn’t tell Sue about your boob job to make your life a living hell, I did it because I wanted to be captain again and that was the easiest way to make it happen. I am taking complete responsibility for myself, and if you read what I said; it was me saying sorry. I would have done the same whether the Captain was you or some other random girl, I would have found some other reason why she wouldn’t be suitable for Captain and thrown that right in Coach’s face. I would have slept with Puck if he was dating some other girl too. Regardless of what you might think, my goal in life isn’t to stab you in the back and hurt you, because I do love you being my friend.
So now you don’t care who you screw over as long as you get what you want? If you’re gonna be my carbon copy you’ve gotta stop making crappy excuses for everything you do and get over yourself. No one’s buying it, and it’s getting pretty pathetic. Just stop.